I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
