oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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