I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
whose parrot is this?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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