we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
