Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
