Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
