Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
