is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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