My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
