his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize