We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
