After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
