what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
