Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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