well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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