But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize