I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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