I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
