Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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