Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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