at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
