Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
