I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
