It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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