my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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