goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
