Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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