Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Say something about gay babies.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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