I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
