We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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