just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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