Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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