i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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