i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and she was petting her beer can
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Alive.
So much puke
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
