I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
