Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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