Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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