I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
