Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize