I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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