i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
