I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
