I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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