Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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