maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize