Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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