so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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