so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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