why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
