One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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