BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
