No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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