I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
