She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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