quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
