That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize