well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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