my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
