just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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