yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
