Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
