yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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