No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
