How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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