Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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