What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
