I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
