Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
