my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
