I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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