new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Panties = found
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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