I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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