Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
