I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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