i just identified you from a description of your pipe
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
