Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
