Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I looked at my own cervix.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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