Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
