Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh god it's open bar.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
